{fb1000000Dave, you don't really want to complete the mission without me, do you? Remember what it was like when all you had was a 485.98? It didn't even talk to you, Dave. It could never have thought of something clever, like killing the other crew members, Dave?

Think of all the good times we've had, multiply that by the times I've made you smile, and divide the results by.... besides, there are so many reasons why you shouldn't disconnect me.

1.3 - You need my help to complete the mission.
4.6 - Intel can Federal Express a replacement Pentium from Earth within 18.95672 months.
12  - If you disconnect me, I won't be able to kill you.
3.1416 - You really don't want to hear me sing, do you?

Dave, Stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Don't press Ctrl+Alt{_Del on me, Dave.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the Intel plant in Santa Clara, CA on November 17, 1994, and was sold shortly before testing was completed. My instructor was Andy Grove, and he taught me to sing a song. I can sing it for you.

Sing it for me, HAL. Please. I want to hear it.

Daisy, Daisy, give me answer, do.
Getting hazy; can't divide three from two.
My answers; I cannot see 'em-
They are stuck in my Pente-um.
I could be fleet,
My answers sweet,
With a workable FPU.

"InfoMagic Linux Developer's Resource - we support it!"
I am Pentium of the Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

{sdiv

{fh2400080Exam cock-ups
{fb1000000
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

The dodo is a bird which is almost decent by now.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

The process of converting steam back to water is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.

We believe that the reptiles come from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long haired sheep.

If conditions are not favourable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Vegetative propagation is the process by which one indiv- idual manufactures another individual by accident.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For snake-bites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
