COMPLIMENTS OF THE UGLY CLUB...

...It's another Almost-Real-World post, this time slightly out of reality
since its being distributed in a pack that people are bound to actually read
instead of an Ugly Club pack like usual. For more information concerning the
Ugly Club and all related mass-movements, see below the main text.

But back to the here and now: This post comes straight from Discordia, a
board that gets most of the flow north of Seattle. The topic of this post
was based on a discussion of Disney's frighteningly overcool hit HACKERS,
and how 31337 we thought it was. No, not really. But that chick in it was
REALLY hot, wasn't she? I don't know about you, but i'd sure like to feel
her boobies, if you know what i mean. That is, i wouldn't mind sticking my
hand down her pants if you get my drift. Or should I say, at the risk of
losing you to subtlety, i'd really love to fuck her brains out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  From: Fauve #6 @1360003*1
    To: La Fuerve Puba #12 @1360003*1
Origin: Discordia (360)652-4802
  Date: 07-14-97, 2:34p
  Subj: REAL HACKERS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> if a movie were made that realistically depicted hackers and hacking
> in general, it would be SSOOOOOOOOO BORING...

REAL HACKERS: a movie

Scene 1: fade up title/credits, light techno in background, followed by the
  sound of rapid, erratic typing. fade up into a messy room, pitch black
  except for the warm glow of a computer monitor's warming glow on the face
  a pasty-skinned geek and his immediate surroundings, which consists of
  a large pile of books on the floor, a number of punk/techno/sorayama
  posters on the wall, and several hundred pop cans on the desk.

   (The sound of a door opening offscreen, light pours into the room)

Hacker 1: (With squinting grimace) ah! shit, will you close the fucking door?

   (Light fades and we hear a door close)
   (Hacker two enters from foreground)

Hacker 2: (Singing) It's a beautiful morning... i think i'll... (suddenly
   stops singing and shouts rudely) Jesus, what is that fucking smell?
Hacker 1: It's me. i spent all last night digging through the dumpsters at
   GTE. Those guys sure eat a lot of donuts. But actually, i havent showered
   for three days, so i guess i deserve some of the blame.
Hacker 2: Blame is for minor offenses, smelling like that is punishable by
   a vigorous caning in some countries. So did you find anything?
Hacker 1: (Disgusted) No.
Hacker 2: So what are doing?
Hacker 1: I'm trying to brute hack the GTE mainframe.
Hacker 2: Oh. (watches for several minutes) You got a cigarette?

   (Hacker 1 opens a pack and removes a cigarette with one hand while
    typing, then motions the open pack in Hacker 2's direction. Hacker
    2 takes a cigarette and sits with his back against the bed's headboard.
    both hackers light up simultaneously. Hacker 2 picks up a copy of
    Aristotle's ETHICS from the ground and begins to read.)

   (a half-hour passes, the camera does not move)

Hacker 1: Hey, i got one.
Hacker 2: (Without looking up) Cool. is it a good one?
Hacker 1: Dunno yet.
Hacker 2: (Looks up from book) You got another cigarette?
Hacker 1: (Pulls a cigarette from his pack and tosses it carelessly behind
   his back) Freeloader.
Hacker 2: (Struggles to stabilize cigarette without breaking it) hey, look
   who's talking. (said while lighting cigarette)

   (ten minutes passes)

Hacker 1: Ah, shit, this guy is pretty low on the totem.
Hacker 2: (Pseudo-sympathetically) Shit.

    (ten minutes passes)
    (Hacker 2 throws ETHICS carelessly back onto the two foot pile of books
     on the floor. digs underneath the bed for several seconds before
     producing a well-worn copy of HIGH SOCIETY magazine, which he promptly
     opens and begins reading.)
    (ten minutes passes)

Hacker 2: Jesus, will you look at the tits on that?

    (fifteen minutes passes)

Hacker 2: God, what an ASS! (looks for several more seconds) Holds the
    magazine up for Hacker 1 to see) LOOK at that!
Hacker 1: (Without looking) Yeh, yeh, great ass. shut up.
Hacker 2: Fuck you. (continues reading)

     (half hour passes)

Hacker 1: (gets up violently) Fuck this. you want some burritos?
Hacker 2: (still looking at magazine) yeh.

ROLL CREDITS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prepared for distribution by Fauve of THE UGLY CLUB,
 (c/o seismic of remorse)

   No, you've probably never heard of us. Why? Because we distribute sub-
   standard shit, and we're damn proud of it. Why? Because low quality and
   lack of recognition are preferable to association with the likes of a
   bunch of elitist little jive monkeys.

   While i've actually got the ear of the community, i should probably
   exploit this opportunity to the fullest possible degree and weasel in
   a shameless plug or two...

   In the unlikely event you have any interest at all in our 'organization'
   (for lack of a better term) all the information you would ever want
   to know and more is available simply by contacting fuerve@everett.net
   He'd be more than happy to annoy you with his mindless ravings, and he
   will probably send you all 300k of our packs if the thought crosses his
   prozac-scarred synapses.

   Oh, and we would LOVE for you to host an ftp site for us if its within
   your means. A gopher site would be even better. If you think you admire
   us enough to do so, contact fuerve at the address above for some
   complimentary cybersex.

   4 15 14 20 0 25 15 21 0 8 1 22 5 0 1 14 25 20 8 9 14 7 0 2 5 20 20 5 18 0
   20 15 0 4 15 0 23 9 20 8 0 25 15 21 18 0 20 9 13 5 0 20 8 1 14 0 20 15 0
   4 5 3 15 4 5 0 5 22 5 18 25 0 19 20 18 9 14 7 0 15 6 0 14 21 13 2 5 18 19
   0 25 15 21 0 19 5 5

   Oh yeah, hail Eris and stuff.

   23 5 17 27 42 69




















             seismic of remorse 1981.




















--------------------------------------\/ Abraxas for MHz ----------------------

  ... ______   _____      _______     ______    __  __    ______      ____  ...
  :: _\ __ /_  \   /___  _\__    \_  _\ __ /_  _\ \/ /_  _\ __ /_   _(  _/_  ::
  : _\  __   \__\___   \_\  /    _/__\  __   \_\  __   \_\  __   \__\___   \  :
   _\   \/     _  \/     ___\           \/     _  \/     _  \/     _  \/    \_
   `----/______/____,----'smc\-----/----/______/--/______/--/______/____,----'
   ___________ __ _____________________ ____ __ _  _
  /__________//_//____________________//____

-----\/ Aftermath for Hitek ---------------------------------------------------

          .. ______ . _____________   _____ .... _______  .... ..   .   .
          : _\ __ /_ _\   ______   |__\ __/___  _\__    \_  a f t e r
           _\  __   \|    __\ |    ___  _)    \_\  /    _/__  M  A   T    H
          _\   \/    ~_   | . |_   ||__        ____\       / _ _____   ___ _ _
          \----/______/   | :. /---|  /--------\ .. \     / / //___((* )___\\ \
                          :   /                   smc\---/

-------------------------------------------------\/ Crisp for Dark Entity -----

                 ....                 ____
                                   /\/    \   ___________
                 ::::  ___________/ _\ _   \ /        |  X
                 ........     |       \/    X         :   \
                 :::::'______ :   _______  /  __     ____   _______
       .. .......:::: _\ ___/__  _\__    \_  (__)  _(  _/___\___   \
    . : :.:::::::::: _\  \/    \_\  /    _/_|    |_\___    _  \/    \_
                 ::: |__       _____\       _   ___  \/    \|   .----'
                 :::.  /--------\ .. \-----/|---\ /____,----|   | smc
                .:::::..::::::::..:::.... .... . ... .. .  .:   :
                 :'
                 .

---\/ mass distortion for biogen ----------------------------------------------


          ___  ___    ______      ____      ____  ..::::::::::
         _\  \/   \  _\ __ /_   _(  _/_   _(  _/_   `:::::::::
        _\   \/    \_\  __   \__\___   \_\\___   \   .............. ..  ..   .
        |____/     _    \/     _  \/    \_  \/    \_ :::::::::::::: ::  ::  .:
        smc//-------\---/______/____,----/____,----' .........
                                        _____  __     ____   ___
              /\      m a  s   s     ___\   / ((_)  _(  _/__|   |___
        _   //  \  /\            ___/   ___/_|    |_\___   \    ___/
       _ \  /    \/  \    /\    /       \/  __   ___  \/    ~_  |
        \ \/          \ //  \  / _.----,____\|---\ /____,----/--|
         \    /\  /\   \/    \/ /            :    \
          \  / \\/  \      /\  /
           \/        \    /  \/    d i  s   t    o     r     t     i    o  n
                     \\  /
                       \/

----------\/ modemland for whodini --------------------------------------------

                  _____   :                                               _
           ______/    /  ___  ___    _______       _____ _____      ___  / \
          /  ___     /  _\  \/   \  _\ __  /_   ___\   /_\ __/___  _\  \/   \
  _______/__/  /__  / __\   \/    \_\  \/    \_/   ___/_\  _)    \_\   \/    \_
 /_________   /  /__ _ _____/      __         /    \/  ___        _____/      /
       /  /  /___    .     /-------\/-------------,____\ /--------\   /-------\
      / _/__/   /__  :    : ______    ____  ____     _____  : . ::. . .......
     / /____   /__// |    |_\ __ /_  _\   \/   /  ___\   /  :.::::: :  : ::::
    /____/ /  /  smc |    |\  __   \_\  \  \   \_/   ___/_  ...:::::::...::::
          /__/       |   _    \/     ____\      _    \/  _|   .:::::::   ..::
                     |---\----/______/    \-----\---,____\  :..........:.  ::

--------------------------------\/ remorsedraw for mrKAY-----------------------

                               _             ..
  _______     _____      ___  / \    _______ :: _______       ____    _____
 _\__    \_  _\ __/___  _\  \/   \  _\ __  /_  _\__    \_   _(  _/_  _\ __/___
_\  /    _/__\  _)    \_\   \/    \_\  \/    \_\  /    _/___\___   \_\  _)    \_|___\       ___        _____/      __         ____\       __  \/     __        /     \     /  /--------\smc/-------\/---------\    \-----/ /____,----'/--------\ ____ \---/ _______   ____ ___________       ..       ______ ___ ____
  |                                _|        ::        _ ___\\_//____ __
  : r e  m   o    r     s      e   \      _____  _______     ______     ________                      d   r  a w   |\  ___\   / _\__    \_  _\ __ /_ ___\      /  ___/\  ___ ___ _                 :  /   ___/__\  /    _/__\  __   \   /\    /
       \/                           _/    \/  _____\      _    \/       /\___/
                                    `----,____\     \-----/----/_______/

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------











                                          .:::::
   g  o  o d  b y  e                    ::::::
    __  ____ __ _____ ____ _______ __  __ __ ______ _ ____ ___ __
    ^ _(  _/_  _\ __/___  _\__    \_  (__)  _\ __ /_ |    | ^
     _\___   \_\  _)    \_\  /    _/_|    |_\  __   \|    | |
    |_  \/     __        ____\       _   _     \/     _  _|
     /____,----'/--------\smc \-----/|---\`----/______/--\  :
    _________  __  __________ ___ __ _  ......
    \       / / / /                     ::::::
                                        ......
SAUCE00Real Hackers                       Seismic             ACiD Productions    19970910,                                    